The Death card in tarot is as difficult to speak about as the concept of death is in life, considering how it is synonymous with loss. My first experience of losing someone I loved was when I was 7. When I think about it, no adult in the family was prepared enough to be able to speak about death to the children in the household in a way that would help form understanding. All we knew was that something happened, and the person was dead. What did that mean for a 7 year old? I don't remember, besides that it meant that I would never see that person eat, sleep, walk about again. When I first started this page, I had wondered what would come through if this card showed up one day.
At the end of the day, big changes and endings are more about the internal shift in self identity and hence, are difficult. The trick lies in integrating the shifts which takes patience and process.
As we grow older, we learn to flinch at the sight or mention of death because how synonymous it is with loss. As I see this card, I am taken back to this one video from Italy when COVID-19 had just hit, wherein a woman shared the deep pain she felt at not being able to physically be near a loved one who had passed on. If you let it, 2020 with all its grief and heaviness, has opened the door to see the reality of death as it is, instead of avoiding and fearing it. This fear of death comes from the human illusion of control. We grow up learning to know death as a hideous secret to be dealt with when it comes. But the question is, do we really experience death "when it comes"?
There are two broad messages I receive from this for today:
1) Death as a Portal: Witnessing the passing of a loved one, is a deeply unnerving experience. It changes you, at the core of your being. It is this very humanising aspect of transformation that death initiates, almost as if you have walked through a door into a new world.
Experiencing death is devastating. However, it also allows for illusions of control to be shattered. Note that control and free will to choose are two different things. What this card speaks of is that while we do not have control over things of that nature, we must not completely give up on the agency that we do have. We can either choose to avoid, deny and numb down the experience of change that death has brought in us and our lives, or we can choose to not just face the transience of life, but also open up to the deeper shift in our subconscious that invites us to seek, identify and move towards what we now truly value in our selves, our relationships and in the world at large.
Whether you have experienced death or not, 2020 has seen many many deaths that have left the world with a deep knowing of it. That can be a hard truth and please find gentleness within you and around you to move through that. Death is a portal of transformation. Allow yourself to sit with the questions that experiencing or even thinking about death brings up. You do not need to have all the answers today, but writing them down will set you subconsciously on a path to find and build those values and dreams that you find yourself desiring now.
2) Endings and Beginnings: Change of any kind can be rough. Even if you know its good, it feels not that great in the moment. The second message speaks of this rough patch that we hit right before we start experiencing the joy of expansion and newer possibilities on the horizon.
This card speaks of the twin feelings of joy at the prospect of new beginnings (or a sigh of relief at ending something that was deeply painful) that exists simultaneously with a strange heaviness of wrapping up the final bits of the last chapter.
If you needed it, this card validates your decision to step forward into the new, in case you found yourself questioning the decision to end a relationship, a career phase or move to a new place, because it felt heavy despite you being fully aware of the happy prospects it has. You may have felt confused, and wondered if the ending was indeed the right decision because of how slow and heavy moving out of it feels. If that is you, then this card says that it is valid to feel that because the heaviness isn't merely from the ending externally, but from the deep shift in your consciousness that the ending brings. Allow yourself the time to move through this shift without worrying. It is all okay. You are okay.
I hope you take the time to move through this pulse and process it. Until tomorrow!
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